Like a guardian angel, We’ll track every move you make so that you don’t have to.
We live in a time of mass surveillance; it’s an Orwellian world, and modern technology allows any corporation to play the role of Big Brother. That includes us, but luckily, we believe that a good Big Brother should look out for his little brothers and sisters. And that’s precisely what our satellite monitoring can do. Using cutting edge technology, rigorous digital monitoring and state-of-the-art surveillance, wer’re here to help you get through your most incompetent days. The moment you’re in a sticky situation, you won’t even need to call us, because we’ll know about it before you do, and we’ll already have a team of professionals on their way to save the day!
Did you know you’re already being monitored by your smartphone, your social media, and probably multiple government agencies? The only difference between us and them is that we want to use this power to look after you, not unlike an interventionist deity. Think of us as a guardian angel looking over your shoulder. A guardian angel that has a high-speed internet connection and cameras everywhere.
Perhaps you’re about to take the wrong turnoff on the highway. Perhaps you’re about to go to an important job interview with food all over your face. Perhaps you’ve booked a river cruise at the exact time as your ex and their incredibly intimidating new partner. But you weren’t to know. Sometimes these things happen. But they don’t have to. With satellite tracking and a large team of observers watching your every move, we’ll be there at the drop of the hat to intercept your misfortunes. Did you literally drop your hat? Well guess what? We caught it before it even hit the ground. There you are. And may we say, that’s a very stylish fedora, sir.
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