The Definitive
Karen
Test
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A staff member has politely asked if you can wear a mask inside the store. What do you do?
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Wear a mask.
Wear a mask (under my nose).
Cite my Geneva Convention rights.
How do you feel about machines taking retail jobs from human workers?
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I feel sorry for the human workers.
I hope the machines do a better job.
Are workers ever really “human” though?
Someone’s asked you not to use a certain word. How do you react?
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I’ll consider empathy over entitlement.
It’s fine, I’ve got a friend who knows a black person.
I get the word tattooed on my lower back.
Your child’s teacher says you need to read more to your child. How do you react?
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I need to be a better parent.
I need to speak to the teacher’s manager.
I need to speak to my child’s manager.
The barista misspelled your name on the coffee cup. How do you react?
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It’s really not important.
I write a very angry review.
I admonish them and call them illiterate.
How do you feel about human rights protests?
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They’re trying to raise awareness.
The ones that inconvenience me should be illegal.
I’m fine with protests so long as they don’t make me question my world views.
You’ve spotted a teenager on your block wearing a hoodie. What do you do?
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Go about my day.
Keep an eye on them from afar.
Call the police.
Someone says you’re “a bit TERFy”. How do you react?
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With self-reflection.
With self-righteous fury.
Well OF COURSE I value my turf.
You order a drink from a waiter who tells you their shift is over. What do you do?
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Find another waiter.
Remind them they are ALWAYS on duty.
Call the police.
The police have asked you to stop wasting their time over petty annoyances. How do you react?
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It’s time to self-reflect.
It’s time to call the police’s manager?
It’s time to call the military.
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