Does a job in the Government sound appealing to you?
Step 1 of 10
What do you think makes you a good politician?
I care about the greater good.
I’m important enough to control countless lives.
I like money and attention.
What's the most important political issue we need to address?
Whatever gets the votes.
Whatever distracts from my scandals.
As someone who holds public office, who should you serve?
The Lizard Men who control the Illuminati.
The one Lizard Man who controls News Corp.
There’s evidence of you doing something horrible. What’s your strategy?
Apologise and resign.
Accuse the opposition of weaponising the truth.
Start a scare campaign as a distraction.
What do you like most about democracy?
It gives every citizen the power to use their voice.
It somehow gets people like me in power.
It’s a very grown up word, quite fun to say.
If you could get your entire party to agree on one major policy, what would it be?
Human rights & safety.
I mean, do we REALLY like democracy?
What’s the best way to run a country?
With the best interests of the people.
With fossil fuels.
Into the ****ing ground.
What’s more important: loyalty to your party, or loyalty to you constituents?
Loyalty to my constituents.
Loyalty to my party.
Oof, neither, ya big nerd.
If you could be a politician in 50 years, would your policies still be the same?
Possibly not, issues change with the times.
Yes. I am eternally unchangeable.
Haha, the planet won’t even be inhabitable then, ya big silly!
If you were to be fired, what would it be for?
For sticking to my principles.
For kickbacks & rorts.
Oh man, you don’t even wanna KNOW what I’m into.