The Australian
Politician
Test
Does a job in the Government sound appealing to you?
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1
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10
10%
What do you think makes you a good politician?
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I care about the greater good.
I’m important enough to control countless lives.
I like money and attention.
What's the most important political issue we need to address?
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Climate catastrophe.
Whatever gets the votes.
Whatever distracts from my scandals.
As someone who holds public office, who should you serve?
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The public.
The Lizard Men who control the Illuminati.
The one Lizard Man who controls News Corp.
There’s evidence of you doing something horrible. What’s your strategy?
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Apologise and resign.
Accuse the opposition of weaponising the truth.
Start a scare campaign as a distraction.
What do you like most about democracy?
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It gives every citizen the power to use their voice.
It somehow gets people like me in power.
It’s a very grown up word, quite fun to say.
If you could get your entire party to agree on one major policy, what would it be?
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Human rights & safety.
Better slogans.
I mean, do we REALLY like democracy?
What’s the best way to run a country?
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With the best interests of the people.
With fossil fuels.
Into the ****ing ground.
What’s more important: loyalty to your party, or loyalty to you constituents?
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Loyalty to my constituents.
Loyalty to my party.
Oof, neither, ya big nerd.
If you could be a politician in 50 years, would your policies still be the same?
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Possibly not, issues change with the times.
Yes. I am eternally unchangeable.
Haha, the planet won’t even be inhabitable then, ya big silly!
If you were to be fired, what would it be for?
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For sticking to my principles.
For kickbacks & rorts.
Oh man, you don’t even wanna KNOW what I’m into.
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